To What We Have Gained

In an attempt at the positive, I would like to remind us all to think of the things we have gained rather than what we have lost.

For Dave and I, we have a lot to be thankful for. Healthy and happy, we are. Then comes our love. Dave and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this year. I submitted an article in our evening journal to share what the Pastor told us of love and choices. I was blessed with many kind comments, messaged from an out of state person who received the article from a family member and most endearingly a handwritten card that shared another’s love story. Inspiring. We are blessed with love.

We gained a United States Marine this year. Ryan graduated basic training in March. We had the most memorable trip to San Diego as a family (minus Sarah, who had school) We got to walk the grounds where Ryan spent 3 months training. Our first glimpse after the thirteen long weeks was a motivational run. The newest Marines stopped in front of the crowd briefly before starting the mile run. Each boy looked remarkably similar with the same haircut, yellow t-shirt and green shorts. Finding our son was a challenge. On tiptoe I scanned the faces searching for him. I remember when our eyes connected and the proud tears of relief that silently fell. I can’t remember another time he looked as happy as he did that day, his smile as big as ever. My hand in Dave’s, each of us silent as we shared the emotion filled moment. Following the run, he left for a shower and change of clothes and was finally released for Family Day. Hugs were passed around and his gratitude for so many of us coming the long distance was evident. He jabbered the afternoon away. Stealing quiet moments with as many of us as he could. He told me of the crucible (an exercise all Marines take) and how accomplished he felt when he reached the top of the mountain and was handed his Eagle, Globe and Anchor, signifying he’d officially become a United States Marine. He then said, “Mom I want you to have it” and folded it in my hand. We have gained so very much. The day ended all too quickly and we went our separate directions for one more night. The following day we witnessed hundreds of boys graduate with much deserved pomp and circumstance. It was exhilarating. Next came his ten day leave before he went to his MOS station in Missouri. We used this time wisely and we had a surprise for Ryan.

Dave has always wanted to fly an American Flag at our home. Now with a Marine in the family, it seemed only fitting for this dream to become reality and for Ryan to raise the first flag. The flagpole was ordered and delivered; and the concrete poured and set. I had programs made and each family member played a role. Andrew proudly did the introduction, Emily was in charge of music, Sarah and Mitchell helped set up and Brianna organized and held the special gifts Ryan had selected to hand out. Ryan spoke, Grandpa Shreeves shared a special message and then the National Anthem was played as our son did the honor of raising the American Flag. We have gained so much.

For more of what we’ve gained this year; a daughter. Ryan had called home and asked us what we thought of Brianna. He then proceeded to tell us he’s “done looking for girls.” (insert smile) On May 27th, Ryan married Brianna in the small country church his Grandfather pastors. It was perfect given the ten days we had to put it together. He had been in Missouri learning his skill and took a ten day leave for Andrews graduation. The happy couple choose this leave to be joined in holy matrimony. This past July they moved to North Carolina where Ryan is based at Camp Lejeune. We have been blessed to have constant communication and often get calls that start with “guess what?”

Yet another “bird has flown the nest” this year. Andrew graduated this past spring and is in college in Council Bluffs. He has gained tremendous freedom. It is our hope he is gaining knowledge at school and learning important life skills. He is just far enough away that he doesn’t make it home very often. He suffered two concussions in a row and that has slowed his progress as a wrestler. He is gradually being released to full practice now and is looking forward to the possibility of wrestling in the near future. Although he’s still undecided about what he wants to do, our advice has always been to do something that you want to do, that makes you happy and doesn’t feel like a job. We are very confident he will find his way.

Sarah, our ever responsible child, amazes us with her steady work ethic. She continues to maintain two jobs working approximately 50 hours a week, plus taking accounting classes. She will graduate this spring and hopes to apprentice this tax season. Mitchell works hard at EIB and picks up many odd jobs as well. He remodeled his basement, adding a bathroom and nice family room. We have been blessed watching them gain closeness and love for each other. 

That brings us to Miss Emily, who just turned sixteen. She is your average teenager. Lots of time in her room, always hungry and has a boyfriend. Although she might not admit it, I think she’s lonely without her siblings around. She more than makes up for it with friends dropping in or her going out. At sixteen she gets more hours at the store and can cashier. Between school, work and cheerleading she’s a busy, happy girl.

Perspective. Here we have a choice. Instead of looking at it as losing Ryan, we gained Brianna. Instead of having all the kids home for Christmas this year we enjoyed the Fourth of July together. We continue to be blessed and to be ever grateful for ALL the things we have gained. It is our sincere wish that with something lost you gain something else. We have always had a choice and it’s always about how you look at things.