To the things beyond my control, I’m learning to just lean into them.

We mark time in hours, days, years, life events and even death. For me time is marked by the changes in my family. There are many and sometimes it can be overwhelming. I often reflect on where the kids are in their lives. Currently they are literally spread far and wide. From oldest to youngest; one is in Japan, one a few towns over, one is in Germany and one almost to Mexico. This is unusual but it puts in perspective what I’m saying. Time waite’s for no one.

 I was treated to a day with a little yesterday. These are days I treasure. They are days I’m not thinking about anything else, how I look, how I talk, how clean my house is or how much work I’m not doing. This is when my focus can thankfully be all about them and do you know what comes with that? Laughter through tears, I love you’s unprovoked, tackling hugs that only the smallest of humans can give and that take your breath away. From the “come get me” to “I want you to go with me” I am reminded of days gone by with their parents and I know this time is precious. I am exhausted and a little sad when they go home but smile at what they leave behind. The girls’ old fisher price doll house spread out on the floor, a decorative acorn in the drawer in the refrigerator?? and the books read before nap on my bedside table. Remnants of the fun we had.

We are six months into the thirty-six-month Japan stay. That is all the time that has passed, six months equals thirty to go. Yes, technology is great, when time aligns we can video chat but there’s no hugs, no chasing, no pumpkin carving or tucking into bed and I ask myself, how do I lean into this?

It’s a cloudy fall day with a cool, crisp breeze. The open windows breath fresh air through the house and I should get a move on.  Although I am absolutely ready to pack away the orange, the gourds and the spooky and I’m ready to clean up high where the hay bales sit in the great room and down low where the stuffed pumpkins cover the couch. But then again I shouldn’t rush time. Too often I find myself rushing instead of enjoying. It’s time to lean, to squeeze out every last drop and BE HERE NOW.   Instead of changing the season indoors perhaps I’ll mix up some cookie dough and clean the house, make a cup of coffee and start a new book. It’s time I lean into today and enjoy all that I am blessed with.