November 6, 2001 

Another unforgettable day for the Waite’s. 

In early 2001 we got transferred from the Sioux City store to the south side Des Moines store. We never did get much notice. Dave would be offered the job on a Friday and he’d report at the new store the following Monday. He’d find a cheap motel while I was left to pack, take care of the kids and put the house up for sale. 

Timing was unfortunate for selling a house in Sioux City that year, a major employer in the area had just closed and many were out of work. After a month we had one unacceptable offer and we ended up renting our house while it was on the market.

Dave was anxious to get us all moved and back together again, he found us a rental house. It was a small two story that was eerily similar to the one I grew up in. Two bedrooms upstairs, passing through one to get to the other and a converted room on the main to use as the master bedroom. It was a bit of a distance for Dave to drive, but the price was right and the small town of Bondurant fit us.

Just before the move and per the Waite tradition, we found out we were pregnant again. A happy surprise but also a bit of a scary one. You see with my second pregnancy I was told I am RH negative and would need a Rhogam shot to make the baby’s and my blood compatible. They administered the shot during our second pregnancy and everything worked out well for the birth of Sarah. Andrew, our third, was not as fortunate and required three blood transfusions at birth. We were then told a fourth pregnancy would be high risk. 

There we were with a move on the horizon, three kids under the age of 6 and a high risk pregnancy.  

This was when we were blessed with a miracle. Because of the blood incompatibility issue, the baby would require intrauterine blood transfusions. That was a lot for us to understand and there was only one place in Iowa that had that capability, Des Moines. Where we were just transferred. 

Our OBGYN, Dr. Jeffery Boyle had an office in West Des Moines and a great bed side manner. He explained everything in a capable manner that assured us he would be able to give the baby blood transfusions during the pregnancy and deliver a healthy baby that wouldn’t be born anemic. 

We had a lot more doctor visits with pregnancy number four. A lot of ultrasounds and an amniocentesis. They monitored everything. Then came the actual blood transfusions.

Thankfully we were able to schedule these around Dave’s busy work schedule. He was maintaining two jobs at the time to make ends meet and I  wasn’t allowed to work. It was a hectic time for us and being who we are we wouldn’t accept a hand out.

I’ll never forget being told we qualify for assistance when we had baby number three. Me coming from that life and Dave being the proud man that he is, we had long since decided we would earn our living. If we had one child or four it was our responsibility to provide for them.  So Dave worked round the clock with naps in between. His second job was working the night sort at the UPS hub in Des Moines. Handling all that cardboard dried his hands out something fierce. I remember our eating schedules were off and family time was slim but at least we were together and managing. Dave napped in the living room to be close to the kids when they were still up watching tv or listening to me reading them a book. I’d get them tucked in upstairs and the house would finally fall silent, just long enough for him to catch twenty minutes rest. I’d make him a snack to pack, massage big globs of cheap lotion into his thirsty hands and kiss him goodbye. 

The other blessing that came with the move was that we were closer to family.  We relied heavily on parents to come watch the kids when we went to appointments and then to the hospital for the transfusions.  

Every transfusion got a little easier as the baby grew and the umbilical cord wasn’t floating around as much. The transfusions required Dr. Boyle to get into the umbilical cord and pin down the right vein to transfuse the fetus’ blood. I was told to lay still and remain calm. It wasn’t until the eighth transfusion that we had complications. That day was November 6th. Our due date was still six weeks away. 

We had arrived at Mercy Hospital that afternoon having left Dave’s mom at home with the kids. Since I was so close to my due date Dr. Boyle gave me something to keep me from having contractions while he worked. Putting a very long, thin needle into my swollen abdomen to give the baby blood was tricky at best and if I had a contraction it would move the needle therefore endangering the outcome. 

I laid back with my eyes on the monitor and my hand in Dave’s. He stood beside me with worried eyes and squeezed my hand for reassurance. I could tell he felt helpless. Dr. Boyle inserted the needle slowly and carefully. When he had it in position, he began to transfuse. That was when I had a small contraction from the invasion of the needle. Dr. Boyle had said that may happen at this stage in the pregnancy. Because he was pushing blood in when the contraction came it caused a hematoma (blood clot). He said we needed to get the baby out as soon as possible. 

A nurse wheeled me to the maternity ward with Dave at my side. She settled me in the big, pull apart bed and started a pitocin drip to get labor started. This wasn’t in the plan and when we were left alone we voiced all the things running through our hearts. As exciting as it is to welcome a new life into the family, the health of our baby wasn’t a sure thing. 

We called home to check on everyone there and to share the news. We were assured more prayers were headed our way. The next call Dave made was to UPS to let them know he wouldn’t be in and why.

The medicine worked it’s magic and at 6:59 pm we delivered a tiny baby girl, 6 lbs. 14 oz. The room felt small with all those there to assist and when she came out there wasn’t the normal baby cry. Dave quickly cut the umbilical cord and they whisked our girl right out of the room. A pediatrician was on stand by for the early birth and Dr. Boyle explained that they had taken her to give her oxygen as they were worried her lungs weren’t fully formed yet. 

I felt numb and empty with worried thoughts crowding my mind. I couldn’t tell you how long Dr. Boyle stayed to attend to me. A piece of me had been taken without barely a glimpse of the life we’d just been blessed with. 

I can only imagine the thoughts going through Dave’s mind. For so long we had been doing everything right for the pregnancy and it all seemed to happen so quickly. Now she was born but we didn’t even get to hold her and bond. 

A little back story on me and having babies; I bounce back pretty quickly. I think it’s due to the sheer adrenaline and excitement that I’m up and showered right after giving birth. This one was no different. After cleaning up and Dr. clearance, Dave steered my wheelchair to the neonatal intensive care unit. 

The room was incredibly warm, cozy and peaceful. There were maybe a dozen bassinets with preemies hooked up to machines. A nurse met us at the door and led the way to baby Waite. 

This was a site I was unprepared for. All the wires and machine monitoring. She was laying face up and her skin was a warm pink. She was tiny with socked feet turned inward. She had monitor tabs on her caved in chest and the smallest oxygen tube wrapped around her perfect little face. Her head was covered in a teeny little pink beanie and her fingernails were translucent. This is something I will never forget. So small and dependent on something else to keep her alive. 

The nurse spoke in whisper as she told us the procedures in the NICU. Cleanliness and hours, who was allowed in and what was going on. She told me to talk to our girl, that the sound of my voice would be familiar. After being reassured we could touch her, the nurse went to tend to another baby. 

At first we could only put our hands in the small circular holes to touch our girl. The pediatrician was happy with her progress and assured us we’d get to hold her soon. His good news was that she wasn’t anemic and wouldn’t need any more blood transfusions.

That night we spent in the hospital but because it wasn’t necessary for me to stay I was sent home the next day with a breast pump machine but no baby. 

I pumped regularly as I started to keep the schedule I knew our girl would. I wanted do anything to get her healthy enough to come home so I’d get out of our warm bed to hook up to a cold machine and express milk. I marked the little baggies with the date and put them in the freezer. I made daily trips to the NICU. The nurses laughed at how much milk I brought in, exclaiming baby Waite couldn’t ever eat that much. They wanted to know if it was okay to use for others. It felt good to give back. 

The day finally arrived when the pediatrician said our girl was strong enough for me to hold. The nurses had told me hearing my heartbeat and laying her skin on skin would help her O2 levels. I was ever so anxious to feel her in my arms. All wires were still attached and as carefully as possible this toasty warm, precious being was placed gently on my chest. It was a moment I’ll never forget. Dave sat across from us watching. A look full of love and thankfulness passed between us. 

A few days later I’d become adept at picking her up and holding her. She still drank from a bottle and would need to learn to latch on before she’d get clearance to go home. She was gaining weight and they were weaning her off the oxygen. She also got to have visitors. By now Dave had had the opportunity to hold her and we were both anxious to share her with the rest of the family. 

I shared the news that night when I came home and the following day Grandma Kathy arrived with the three older kids. They were all instructed to be on their best behavior and the nurses helped scrub them up. I was already in my chair with their sister as they approached. Ryan, our oldest was interested but had already been through two younger siblings. Our Sarah was so happy we’d had a girl but she was shy when she saw all the wires. Andrew, he was funny and curious. He sat on Dave’s lap and pretty much ignored where we were, he just seemed happy we were all together again. Since the nurses encouraged lots of talking and hearing the sounds of our voices I had been singing little songs to our girl. Twinkle, twinkle little star became her song. That day we all sang it for her and for many more days to come. 

We named our girl Emily. We had a male name picked out too, we loved the surprise of finding out the sex of the baby at birth. With Emily I had a strong sense she was a girl right from the start.  

For her middle name I gave her mine. We had been through quite a lot together and it seemed fitting. 

Emily spent two very long weeks in the NICU before they released her. It was the week of Thanksgiving that she came home. What a gift to be thankful for.

She has been a blessing to us in much the same way as her older siblings and her life has included two very special miracles. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to share the other one. 

November 6, 2020

This year has been anything but typical. Emily’s senior year was disrupted by a pandemic that took away so much of what should have been good senior memories. She was so looking forward to going off to college but that too changed and her classes are all online. Instead of dorm rooms and lecture halls, she stayed home and gets her laptop and zoom classes. We have long since learned to look for the positives in any situation and will not complain, there is too much to be grateful for.

I strongly urge you all to look for your blessings and always remember to thank the One who provides them.